Exhibit A

I titled this post as I did because I want everyone to realize that you shouldn't make posts at 4 o'clock in the morning. I am doing so because I have a lot of stuff going on in the ole' noggin, and I want to get at least some of it off my mind.



I got back from my trip to Conway this evening. As I always am, I was bad at the goodbye. Everytime I hang out with the Miz and Mastertater I realize several things: 1) How much I need them in my life to keep me sane and happy. 2) How I live my life in thorough mediocrity without them. 3) How they are absolutely and completely wonderful people. 4) How they are my best friends...by a LONG shot. 5) How LITTLE they are a part of my current life. All of these factors contribute to the fact that, all in all, I'm kind of an unhappy guy. Don't get all upset with me. I know that I have a lot of things that are positive and that things could be way worse. It's just that I realize that I'm not exactly a perfect portrait of happiness. I'm probably closer to a blurry photo of contentment...and I don't like it. The worst part is that I don't even have a clear idea of what I DO want. Ugh.



Alexis leaves for Las Vegas and her Christmas break tomorrow morning at 8. She's "contemplating" transferring to UNLV either for the Spring Semester or the Fall Semester. (I put contemplating in quotation marks because it is this author's belief that she's already settled on the idea.) As it turns out, she hates her volleyball coach here...which I knew and don't blame her. She dislikes all but 1 or 2 of her teammates...which I don't blame her (they're all lazy, slutty bitches...yeah, I said it). After playing and practicing with most of the UNLV team this past summer, she loves everything about them, but most importantly ( I think) their work ethic. She fits better with them. Ok, I'm babbling. The point is that she's the closest thing I have to a "female" presence in my life, and she's leaving. I snuck her Christmas present into her room this evening in hopes that she wouldn't find it until tomorrow morning and hence, I wouldn't have to face her. What's the present, you ask? That-> She has a thing for "infinity," so that explains that. As for your ideas that I am smitten with her ( I know you're thinking it), I'm pretty positive that I would rather be her friend than a significant other because she seems to always hurt her boyfriends. We all know that I don't need any more of THAT pain right now.



Why is all of this coming out now? Mostly because I can't sleep. It could be worse, folks...If I had some wine here, I'd probably have polished off the whole bottle by now and given you a REAL look into the craziness that IS my mind.

Two down...two to go

Just a quick update: I've currently made two of my finals my bitch. In the morning, I get to completely OWN my Coaching Theory final. Then on Friday morning I get to laugh my way through my Team Activities Final. Meanwhile, I plan on getting ham-boned tomorrow night. This weekend? Conweezy.

Finals Week Update

Here's the deal, . ladies and gents. Wait, I don't think there are any "gents" that read this web-based publication, so I guess I should just say "ladies." Finals week is upon me, and I'm less-stressed this week than I have been during any other week of finals. Not because my classes are easier now, but because my grades were mostly decided by my project (which are already turned in) and my finals are based on "book-knowledge" (which I am good at). I know what you're asking: "Mike, what happened during your weekend? Surely you went out, drank, and partied..." I'll answer you with a simple, "Yes...yes I did."

Thursday Night: My buddy Shane came into town. Since there are no classes on the Friday before finals week, the preceding Thursday night is always the busiest night of drinking and debauchery at the local, Russellville bar. This year was no different. We showed up already 3-sheets-to-the-wind and with plans to drink more. Most of the events of the night were blurry. I made it home safe and sound. I'd like to quote my favorite movie of all time: "You know that song "Behind Closed Doors" by Charlie Rich? It's one of my favorite songs. I'll say we had a good time. I will say that."

Friday Night: Still reeling from a massive hangover, I got a call from Shane at about 6 p.m. He said that he was staying in town for one more night and that he was throwing a bit of a house part-AY. I was expected to attend, so I did. I drank. I got drunk. I slept alone on Marshall's couch.

Saturday and Sunday was thoroughly uneventful. I spent the day puttering around the house like a 80 year old retiree. Short-story-long, I had a mediocre weekend. I guess I should wrap this up and study...or something.

For Update's Sake

I'm simply updating so's that you nice folks can have something to check up on. Here's a few things that are going on in my world:

• There is officially four days of classes left in the Fall Semester at Arkansas Tech University. Finals week will be a blur of notes and coffee.


• I get to go home and spend an, as of yet, unknown amount of time with the Fam for Christmas.


• I am hashing out plans for a possible trip to Conweezle this weekend. Therefore if any of you faithful Life Remixed readers would like an opportunity to hang out with my goofy ass, I'll be kicking it with The Miz, Sladernator, and Mastertater.
• PS: I'm growing a beard.
• Since an alarming amount of people have made fun of me due to my shirt selections, I have made a personal pledge to NOT wear a sleeveless shirt until January 14th, the first day of the Spring Semester. Don't think I can make it? If you know me at all, you know that I'm stubborn enough to pull it off.
• Since I am avoiding everything sleeveless for upwards of a month, I'm gonna spend a lot of time in the gym and try to make myself look a little more like hmm...saaaaaaaaay, THIS GUY ->

Ugh.

Ok, it's official. My nose is running. My head is congested. I can't stop sneezing. I...am...sick. I usually don't mind getting sick for about a week or two every winter because it's a quick way to drop about 15 pounds. On top of that, all the coughing makes my tummy look better. The wretched illness that I have now, however, isn't making me cough....nor am I losing weight. This sucks.

T-Minus Two Weeks

I have exactly 9 weekdays until finals week. I am less worried about the Final Exams and more worried about the projects due within the next nine class meetings. The tests always come easy to me because I can just study the material and remember it. The projects, on the other hand, require several days of work, and I, to no one's surprise, am a procrastinator. All this being said, I feel like there are two more weeks of school (not counting Finals Week) and then I'm free for a month.

Thanksgiving Break Re-Cap

Here's a rundown of what I did during my 5 day Thanksgiving break from college:

Wednesday- I slept in....mostly because I didn't go to bed until 3 or 4ish. I got up, milled around the house a bit, took some headache meds, and ate some lunch. Then, I helped Jason do a bit of yard work. Just trimmed some low-lying limbs, raked some leaves, and mowed the lawn one last time before winter. After pounding some PB&J sammies for dinner, we had a thoroughly unproductive evening while watching the tube.

Thursday- Although this was officially Thanksgiving Day, I did very little. Jason and Steven woke me up at 11 a.m. (after a night of Insomnia) and asked if I wanted to go with them to grab some food at Taco Bell. I agreed. 5 minutes later as we pass by Taco Bell because it was closed, we realize that the only place that would be open to get food would be Wal-Mart. We proceed to load up on tons of unhealthy alternatives to our normally healthy diet. After we get home and pound on some of our grub, we watch the Dallas Cowboys absolutely throttle the Jets. Lex and I go outside and slap the volleyball around for awhile. Another uneventful evening.

Friday- Since the Gillett's parents and sister are scheduled to arrive in Russelltucky this evening, we have put off cleaning the house until today. Alexis, Jason, and I go ape-shit on the hizzle. We give it the cleaning that it's been needing for about a month. Steven had to work, so he missed out on Cleaning Party 2007. Anyway, the house is spotless. We then proceed to watch the Razorbacks defeat #1 LSU in triple overtime. Shock and jubilation follows. This evening, we went to the Golden Suns basketball game, which they won in overtime. The parents and sister show up at about 9:30. Coronas and rum-and-cokes are consumed by 10. The Scott and Kim Gillett are amazing.

Saturday- This is the day that everyone chose to celebrate the fattest of all holidays. We get up around 9ish and start cooking. The other Gillett sister, Lindsey, shows up at 1ish with her husband, Andy, and 5 month old puppy, Daphne. The meal followed. Pumpkin pies, turkey, butternut squash, "corn crap" (family dish), stuffing (NOT dressing, which was new to me, but still delicious), mashed and smashed potatoes, gravy, and deviled eggs. All washed down with a Milwaukee's Best Ice....good call, Jason. I was full. We spend the rest of the evening laughing, telling/listening to stories about all of the following: "getting up routines" when the Gillett siblings were in high school, Mike getting hit on by the "generously portioned", black lady at the 40, Scott and KG's Vegas happenings, Kenny vs. Spenny, and more. A good time was had by all.

Yesterday- We all got up and talked about how Sunday is Jason's favorite day because he does nothing but sit on the couch and watch football. That's.....it. He periodically makes some food, but always gravitates back to the couch. After a lunch of leftovers, we said goodbye to Amy, the eldest Gillett sister. She left for Kansas City at about noon. Then, we played a few rounds of Catchphrase, a game of Trivial Pursuit, ate some more leftovers, walked the dog at Bona Dea, and eventually said goodbye to Lindsay, Andy, and Daphne. The rest of the night evolved with Scott getting a bit buzzed, two games of Scrabble, more football for Jason, and "Thunderball". Scott and KG ended up sleeping in Alexis' bed. This provoked a heated but short argument. Lex was going to let me have my bed, and she was going to sleep on the couch. Those of you who know me understand where the conflict arose. It didn't take much convincing for me to put her to bed (in a non-J. Holiday sense) in my bed. I crashed on the couch. I win.

All in all, I had a pretty good Thanksgiving. It may not have been "traditional" or with my own family, but I enjoyed it. Plus, it got my mind off of school and kept me from thinking myself into a funk.

Holy crap...

Here's the deal: I decided that I was going to go out last night and drink my worries away. The problem arose when my worries compounded themselves after I got drunk. I have a bad habit of resorting to alcohol when I have things on my mind. Last night was no different. I started pretty normally with Bud Lights....then, a shot of Bacardi 151....then, in honor of my little brother, tequila shots. That's when things went downhill. By the end of the night, I was a blubbering mess sitting in our backyard. Ugh. When I got up this morning (read: afternoon), my head felt like there was a marching band inside of it. 6 ibuprofen later, the pain subsided. What's the plan for tonight? I am offering up my Designated Driving skills.

Cornucopia of Stress

During this wonderful holiday season, I find myself bogged down with schoolwork. I absolutely can't wait for Thanksgiving break. It couldn't come at a better time. Due to my family's latest struggles, my Dad tells me that he and Mom aren't doing anything to commemorate the First Thanksgiving. Understandably, neither one is "up to" cooking a big feast for close relatives. Since this is the case, I'm maxxing and relaxing in Russellville, Arkansas for the fattest of all holidays. Coincidentally, all four of my roommates are doing the same. Steven, originally from Mississippi, has to work on the day before and the day after, so he's not going home. As for the Gillett Unit, their sisters and parents are coming into town on Saturday to celebrate a few days late. Even though 6000 Arkansas Tech students will be travelling home on Tuesday evening, I know of 4 that will be staying riiiiiiight here. What will I be doing, you ask? I'll tell you....in the form of a neat, bulleted list:

• Cleaning the kitchen


• Cleaning the living room


• Cleaning the bathroom


• Cleaning my bedroom


• Drinking periodically

Getting back to normalcy

I want to take this opportunity to thank everyone for all their support, finger crossing, and hugs. It's been a rough week for me, and you guys have helped me more than you'll ever know. Now, on to cheerier things to talk about...

I'm back in Russ Vegas, so I've had an academic reality check. I have to catch up on my schoolwork from the past week. Tests, lesson plans, policies and procedures manuals, and team handbooks. All of which are due between now and Tuesday. That translates into a weekend of work, work, and more work for Daddy. Don't worry, I've already told myself that one night this weekend, I will get fuckwaggled. With the week that I've had, I think I'm due.

Thursday Let-Down

I don't really have much to post about, but I'm going to, in hopes that Megan sees how easy it is. :)

It is currently 11:25 p.m, and I had originally planned to be hanging out with friends, drinking a few cold ones, and chillin' like a villain. Well, as it turns out, everyone is in a poopy mood and decided to stay in tonight. Boo.

Good news, though. I played a 3 on 3 intramural basketball game this evening and squeaked out a win. Final score: 66-34. Oops. Sorry, St. Leo's. Valiant effort though. Our next opponent? Some team that has no chance. Not that any of you care, but once we get to the tournament, there's only one team that can beat us. I'll keep you updated on our championship hopes.

Dragon Days

Monday came and went, but it took FOREVER. I swear. I thought yesterday lasted about 50 hours instead of the usual 24. With 2 lesson plans due, a test, and a 40 minute lesson to teach, I could not have been more ready for Monday to go away. It's time to cheer up, though. It's Tuesday. The only good thing that I can think about Tuesday is that it's not Monday....which is good enough for me.

Let's re-cap the weekend, shall we? Saturday I lounged around the house because that's how I roll. Saturday evening, however, I went to a friends house and watched the Razorback game. Little did I know, I was going to have beer and liquor handed to me. It ended up a long, blurry night. At the end of which, I fell asleep on a bean bag. Sunday morning came with a gift, a big, fat, angry headache. Ouchy. A nice breakfast of hash browns and ibuprofen did the trick. Instead of going home and hanging out with my wonderful roommates, I got invited to a mid-afternoon/evening/night cook-out at my buddy Aaron's house. You guessed it, free beers for all that attended. After I arrived home at 10 pm, my housemates were wondering where the hell I had been all weekend. Only THEN did I realize that I left Saturday afternoon and didn't make it home until late on Sunday. My bad roomies.

PS: The Thundercats made their 3 on 3 basketball debut last night. I know what you're asking...and yes, of course we won.

PPS: Blogger will not let me upload any photos again. GRRRRRRRRR.

Just a quickie

I don't have much time, so I'll make this post short and sweet:

The Gulf South Conference Volleyball Tournament kicks off this weekend in Beebe, Ar. My beloved Golden Suns have their first match at 5 pm on Friday evening. Since I'm their #1 fan, I will be attending. My original plan involved me getting dropped off in Conway on the way home, but things may be different. Miss Megan Haney tells me that she may or may not be making an appearance in the bustling burg of Conweezy this weekend. My attendance this weekend relies on two things:
1. Whether or not Big Meg comes down.
2. Whether or not the Golden Suns win on Friday.

Weekend Update...HA!

Hello, all. It's Friday afternoon, and I just got finished playing indoor volleyball. You guessed it: It's a good day for Mikey. As of Wednesday at 2 p.m, I was done with classes until Monday. How did I take advantage of my time? Catch up on homework? Too logical. Work out and do cardio to lose weight? Silly. I slept....and slept....and slept. I was great. I've been having a few late nights and early mornings due to school, and I felt like sleeping-in a few days. Sue me. Why, oh why were my classes cancelled? The Arkansas Association of Health, Physical Education, Recreation, and Dance (ArkAHPERD) Convention kicked off on Thursday and lasts until Saturday. Therefore, all my professors are in Eureka Springs. HOORAY!

Word on the proverbial street is that there is a Haney Family (read: Haney Twin Sister) Reunion planned for November 9th, 10th, and 11th. I, myself, would like to attend. What it means is that I need to:

• Avoid drinking until then.
• Save up some cash-oline.
• Drop about 5-10 lbs.
• Try to keep from getting too excited on the days leading up to said visit.
• Fail and get too excited on the days leading up to said visit.

Blurry Nights

Well, I did it. I got all the drinking out of my system this weekend. By "weekend", I mean from Thursday to Sunday. With a busy week of schoolwork coming up, I knew that Halloween weekend was going to be my last chance (for a while) to go out and let loose. Let's just say that I did juuuuuuuuust that.

• Thursday night: Beers....151 and Sprite....Waffle House.


• Friday night: Vanilla Rum and Vanilla Coke Zero.....Armory Party....Waffle House.
  
• Saturday night: Beer.....Beer......More Beer.....Ladybug....Sleep on a couch.

What does this weekend of debauchery do to one's body? I'll tell you what it does. It gives you a 19 hour headache and disorients your entire world. Meanwhile, my girl, Melissa, accompanied me to Fayetteville on Saturday. We rocked out to jams the entire ride up there. We drank ourselves senseless at the party. Then I drove back to Russ Vegas because poor baby's contacts were messed up. Hellacious Hangover aside, I had a good time.

Now that the fun is finished, the work must begin. I have hella work to do for school that I've been putting off. Geez, I'm not looking forward to it.

Collect call from....Ya baby boy!

There's two reasons that I've titled this post as I did: A) To reference "Big Daddy", and II) I actually completely shaved my face last night and look like I'm in High School.


Why did I shave, you ask? Because I'm going to be Craig, the Spartan Cheerleader, for All Hallow's Eve, and Craig doesn't have facial hair. Also, I just thought it was time for a change. Let's seeeeEEEEEEEEEEeeeeee, what's new since my last update? The due date for my main assignment for classes has been moved back drastically. Yay. Tech won it's Homecoming Game. Yay. I lost my wallet, and currently, haven't found it yet. Booooo. Other than that, it's been pretty normal. Plans for Halloween? Although there is a shin-dig in Con-Weezle this weekend, I think I am going to Fayetteville...to some readers' dismay. A friend of mine is about to open a bar off of Dickson Street, and he's invited our circle of friends to party there...VIP style. Free booze...free accomodations. It's too sweet to pass up. I've been tormented with the decision for awhile now. Conway or Fayetteville? Fayetteville or Conway? The Miz helped me out by keeping me from feeling like an asshole since I chose Fayetteville. I promise that I'll come to Conway soon though.

Guess who's back....

Back again....Mikey's back.....tell a friend.

*Spoken in a winded voice* I don't know how I made it. It was a long, hard road, and I had to fight the whole way. I just wanna thank my friends for being there for me during my arduous strike. For those that don't know, Megan crossed. She has a blog....and it is linked at the bottom right of this page. *End winded voice*

I assume you're wondering what's been happening in my world for the last two weeks or so. Even if you haven't been wondering, I'ma tell ya....in the form....of a list:

• I made my illustrious debut at the Flying Saucer and still have a grudge against our waitress. Daddy's thirsty.
• Alexis started walking without her crutches....just as I coin the most hilarious phrase in the history of injuries: "You're not a player, you just crutch a lot."
• Due to the aforementioned walking, I have found myself in numerous awkward situations during which I want to help her then realize she can do it herself. Nothing makes me feel more useless.
• School is starting to kick my ass. The first half of the term is always book-work, so I'm golden. The second half is lesson plans, projects, philosophies, policies and procedures manuals, etc. Since I'm prone to procrastinating, this is a rough time of year.
• I'm sure beer still tastes good...even though I haven't had any in a while.
• The weather FINALLY turned cool, and you know what that means: College Uniform Time! (AKA: Hoodies and shorts)

PS: Something's wrong with blogger.com, and I can't post any pictures. Me no happy.

It seems that there's no end in sight

STILL HOLDING!!!

That bird is a LIAR.

I know that I said that I wouldn't update again until Megan created a blog, but there's exciting news in Mikeytown that MUST be shared:


M-m-M-m-M-m-m-melissa's coming to town! That's right ladies and gents. Miss Melissa M. Haney is trekking the 45 minute drive to Russ Vegas this weekend to kick it old school with daddy. What activities are in the cards? No one knows quite yet, but I'll tell you one thing: Bee-ahs will most likely be involved.

Epiphany

As I sit here trying to materialize excuses for my LACK of updates, my mind centers on one. It's genius. I won't blame it on my busy schedule. I won't blame it on celebrating the Haney's birthday (Sept 19) a little too hard. I won't blame it on celebrating my darling father's birthday (Sept 21) a little too hard. I won't blame it on work or fun or other people or myself. I'll simply make a statement that I will stick to:

I will not make another update until Megan Elizabeth Haney has created a blog.

Bye Bye, Birdie...Bring it on, Beeyotches.

The most important part of my day came at 11 a.m. this morning. That was the exact moment that I put Alexis on the volleyball bus and shipped her off to Huntsville, Alabama to watch her teammates play in a tournament this weekend. It felt (as i imagine) like sending your child off to his/her first day of Kindergarten. I know that I'm not gonna be there to take care of her. I also know that she is as independent as I am, and almost as stubborn. This, coupled with the fact that some of her teammates could win the Most Dim-Witted Person on the Planet Award, makes me a rittre uneasy. She'll be back Saturday night. Until then, I'm picturing one of her friends bumping her right off her crutches. If that happens, I'll be in jail for homicide.

The second-most important part of today (for me) doesn't come until 6:30 p.m. That is the starting time of my Intramural Sand Volleyball Championship Match. I wish I could say that I'm focused on playing well, strategies, and whatnot, but I'm pretty much just thinking about what color my "Intramural Champions" shirt is gonna be. We breezed our way through the regular season, completely dominated the Elite Tournament, and are going to destroy the poor saps that play us in the University-Wide Championship. "Ahh, the clumsy adolescents. Not me though, I land on all fours."

Go Tech

The Arkansas Tech Wonderboys christened their new stadium with a wet, muddy, sloppy victory last night. I was a first-hand witness. Ok, I saw most of the game. I didn't see all of it because I was focused on keeping Alexis' leg properly elevate, holding the umbrella in a position that would shield her entire body from rain, and keeping an eye out for careless, clumsy morons that walked by without noticing that there was an injured person sitting there. (Seriously, one guy almost kneed the crap out of her leg, and I almost tackled his ass down 30 rows of bleachers. Lex saw my face, grabbed my hand, and squeezed it to calm me down.)

With regards to a phone call last night, I know I'm 24 years old and that I should be partying and enjoying my college years, but right now I have a few responsibilities that need to be addressed. In about 6-8 weeks, I'll have all the time in the world to drink, party, and make decisions that I (hopefully) will regret in the morning. I'm already getting reamed by my new housemates about my "romantic inexperience." Example: I took one of those e-mailed surveys today and encountered this question: Who do you think will be your next kiss? My response: probably my mom....depressing.

R.I.P. Ling

It's a sad day in Russellville, Arkansas today. A pet has passed away. Ling, a cute, little, black and yellow duck, died yesterday evening due to her "father" being an irresponsible parent and horrible owner. Ok, so JJ bought two ducks for Alexis as a late birthday present at the beginning of August. Since her surgery, I had been taking care of them. She asked JJ to look after them for two, count'em TWO, nights so's that we get a bit of a break. Ling dies on the first night. I go over to JJ's house at 8 a.m. to get the other one, Gizmo. Frustrating.

On a brighter note, a friend of mine made what could be the funniest comment in the history of human events last night. We were discussing the phenomenon of perfectly sane, attractive, white girls getting wooed and used by football players. Editor's Note: Given that I am a former footballer, I am fully aware that not all football players are assholes and that this is a somewhat unfair stereotype. Alexis was telling us about a few of her freshman teammates that have fallen in with the aforementioned jerks. My buddy Steven then dropped a line that I will forever be jealous about. "Girls should just stay away from football players. They're practically trained killers." I understand that you probably just chuckled a bit. If you would have been there and heard the PERFECT inflection and tone in his delivery, you'd be searching for a new pair of pants because you would have laughed until you peed.

Everybody huuuuuuurts....sometimes.

Herro, all. I know it's been awhile. It seems like it always is. I'm gonna spare you the "I swear I'll blog more often" speech because we all know that I'm just going to update whenever I remember to. Here's what's up in my world (in the form of a list):

• My good friend/housemate, Alexis, had surgery on her busted knee on Friday. She's now confined to crutches for 6-8 weeks.



• I've accepted the duty of taking care of her every need (even though she's overly stubborn and independent)



• I haven't weighed in a while, but I think I'm losing weight. Yippee.



• It seems like I'm already behind on my classes, and we haven't really done anything.



• I usually take showers BEFORE I go to bed. Instead, this morning I got up early and took one before the sun came up. Pair that with a few sprays of Axe, and DAMN I look and smell good.

I'm gonna get a new bike soon, too. As everyone already knows, my old one got stolen....bastards. Anyhooch, I'm gonna get a new one, and I'll ride that bitch all over this damn town.

That's about it people. I know it seems boring, but most of my current life consists of remembering when the last Hydrocodone pill was taken and helping a girl get to the bathroom at 3 a.m. because she hasn't got used to her crutches yet.

And now for my next number....

...I'd like to return to a classic.

I know that, due to my lack of updates, I'm probably the worst blogger in history. ERRONEOUS! On a serious tip, I HAVE been going through some personal crap lately, and I'm glad that everyone's been supportive.

First off, Dock night, mutha bitches. There's nothing like mixing binge drinking and watersports. It's always a good time, and this year was no exception. I got to reminisce with my girl Tatum, The Miz, Slader, and Miss Sassyness, Megan. It couldn't have come at a better time. I needed some distractions from my emotional funk. Believe me, I got it.

More later...must go to class.

You're drunk....you're sexy.

Thanks, Stewie and Brian.

Meanwhile, my relationship is all but over. Cheers and Awww's are heard from the crowd. I, myself, am mixed. I hate the sadness. I love the freedom. Let me address that a predominantly female audience reads this horrible excuse of a blog. I hope you ladies don't hate me for being an ass. Maybe some of you do. Actually, one of you probably screams whole-heartedly that I'm an ass. You know who you are....or should be. Enough about my short comings...Dock Night soon. Ho-Ho Meeting soon. Plenty of good times and, you guessed it, Great Oldies...soon. Thank you for sticking by me. I love you....all.

Get....that....weight off my shoulders!

Here's the a fantabulous list of good things that are going on in Mikey's world:

• All I have left in Summer II is a cake-walk of a final tomorrow morning


• I'm going to end up with 6 credit hours worth of A's (in Senior-Level classes, no less)


• People are FINALLY coming back into town since school is gonna start soon, so I get to have someone to play with
  
• My horrible sun-burn is turning into a relatively sweet sun-tan (I'm never really tan, just a darker shade of red)
  
• I get to slap some volleyballs around tonight


• I overheard someone at work utter the sentence, "My mom goes to college," and they were serious.

In birthday news:

I know you all are wondering what I got....and I'm gonna tell you. New flip-flops, a Hastings Gift Card (with an, as yet, undetermined amount of $$$ on it), and the "Planet Earth" DVD Box Set. All wonderful gifts. Not to mention, I bought myself a gift in the form of "300" on DVD. I guess I just can't get enough of half naked men with oiled-up torsos.

To whom it may concern...

Ms. Megan Elizabeth Haney needs to construct a blog. You know she does. I know she does. The American People know she does. Face facts, pretty lady. It's pretty much inevitable.

Summer Ale, Fun Dip, and Laughs.

As the summer's starting to wind down, all kinds of things are popping off in Daddy's world. First thing's first, my classes are almost over. Hooray! I still have hella work to do before they're actually done. Boooooooo. Tonight, I get to go over to my girl Alexis' house and celebrate her arrival back in Ar with a few (read: too many) beverages. She's been in Vegas (yes, LAS VEGAS) all summer. Editor's Note: How is it that my parents want me to come home to mow the yard during the summer, but her parents move to Vegas and want her to come stay with them all summer?

Anyhooch, she hasn't drank in 3 months, so we're gonna get wamboozled this evening. I know what you all are thinking: "What does the lady of the house think of this night of alcoholic debauchery?" First off, Alexis and I are just friends and nothing's gonna change that. It's not like we're gonna be alone. There's several guys coming over for this eventful occasion. Anyway, the GF says that she's not going to go because she doesn't want to feel uncomfortable, plus, she doesn't like when I drink. Good.....times. I hope she knows that Daddy is gonna get fuckwaggled (thanks, Dusty) on Dock Night too.

Stay tuned for the following breaking news...

CANNONBALL! What? No.....I get to work on Campus this fall! In the Health and Physical Education Building no less! I know it doesn't really matter too much to you readers, but it means TONS to me. First, it means I get to tell the wonderful upper management at Brick Oven to shove it in several different orifices. Second, it means that I won't really have to leave campus for work. Third (and probably most importantly), I can work in shorts and a sleeveless shirt. I'm just a bit fired up about it. Ok, a LOT fired up.

Secondly, my girl, Alexis, is getting back into town today from a summer in Las Vegas. It's gonna be good times and great oldies when she gets here. Her long awaited arrival will be celebrated by 500 hugs from meeeeeeeeee.


Lastly, I would like to note that I frequent the post secret blog, and since Earth Mama referenced the orgasm postcard (which I agree with), I'm gonna reference one that hit really, really close to home for me. This little guy:

I feel like I could easily have sent this one to the nice folks at post secret. The message is simple, but the picture, the font, the colors, the roses...all of it is dead on. I'm gonna go sulk now.

"Have you ever fallen out of love?//Your feelings just disappeared//But it's yourself you're thinkin of//And so still you kept them near//Have you ever been untrue?//Even though you knew right from wrong//But the coward in you//Just kept them hanging on?"

Duh-nuh-na-na-Duh-na-naaaaaaah!

Word on the proverbial street was that Dock Night was scheduled for August 25. When I heard this, a big red flag popped up in my mind. Mostly because my significant other wanted me to go with her to visit her brother, his wife, and their son. I hate you, conflict. Well, today I found out that we are moving our visit to the 16th instead. Yaaaaaay! Mike Howard will officially be attending Dock Night! Seriously kids, I can't wait.

PS: Hoho, I'm still not-so-patiently waiting on the PERFECT link photo.

You've got the moves....I'll give you that.

As I said in my last post, my boy Anthony Lee was in town this weekend. He hung out with us in Russellville from Thursday until yesterday. We reflected on old stories, had a drink or two, played some hoops, and enjoyed Russellville as much as we could. Well, he decided that everyone needed to make a trip to Little Rock on Saturday night to celebrate the RIGHT way, so that's exactly what we did. First, the plan was that we were gonna have dinner at Benihana's. Deal. After a LOT of drinks at the restaurant, Anthony seems to think that the piano bars REQUIRE our presence. I get the hint from someone...that I need to refrain from drinking so that we have a driver. No biggie. We head to Willie D's. Apparently, they've added a downstairs "lounge" to give patrons a change of pace from the sometimes hectic piano playing. With a DJ spinning everything from T.I. to Ma$e to Prince, we spent most of our time downstairs. Also, I'd like to apologize to the owners of Willy D's. If you guys will print us up a bill, we'll be glad to cover the damage. We really didn't intend to obliterate your dance floor. You really should think about treating it with some sort of fire retardant. It's not our fault that it caught fire and continued blazing all night long. Maybe next time we should give you some notice and call before we come. Sorry...again.

Swamped

Apparently, my professors decided to postpone all the work that we DIDN'T do during the first week until this week. Projects, philosophies, tests...not to mention I have to make sure and set aside time to update my blog or else I'll be condemned by my faithful readers.*wink* If you add that to Brick Oven Pizza Company and relationship tribulations, you get an exasperated guy who's in dire need of a beer.

My boy, Anthony Lee, came into town last night. Since joining the Army, he hasn't exactly had the opportunity to visit very often, so last night, we reminisced about the old days until the wee hours of the morning. Daddy's a little tired as a result, but it was worth it. Big ups to A-Lee.

Other than all the schoolwork and the return of Big-A, nothing else is new is Daddy's world. Ooh, I'm renewing my gym membership today in hopes of toning-up my physique. A little freeweights, cardio, and ab-work never hurt anyone. That's a lie. I'm sure someone's been hurt by one of those things, but for the sake of my girlish figure, I'm gonna risk it anyway.

Good Times and Great Oldies

After a visit to Conway this weekend, I woke up Monday morning feeling refreshed. Let me explain: Even though I was hurtin' for certain from a night of Sam Adams (mm-mmm, Summer Ale) and shots of Evan Williams (damn you, Dusty), I spent Sunday constantly laughing with The Miz and Mastertater. This weekend was EXACTLY what I needed.

• Editor's note: I'm listening to Kanye's "Can't Tell Me Nothin" on Pandora right meow :)

As you all know, I haven't exactly had a smooth relationship with my current gf, and Friday was the scene for a pretty big argument....that carried over into Saturday. It almost brought the relationship to an end, but we're gonna work on a few things to see if there's anything we can salvage. With all this on my mind, I (finally) got to kick it with two of most wonderful ladies that I know and get rid of all the negative stuff that built up inside. Thank you.


I'll wrap this post up with a list (since they're all-the-rage) of things that were great this weekend:

• Jodie Foster's knuckles
• Pillow fight
• Bluetooth/Excitement about my Lion King ringtone
• Popsicles
• One word: Jade
• Bom-Chicka-Wah-Wah
• "Wisconsin Cheddar Soup" including the biggest piece of broccoli in the history of Horticulture

Short and sweet

This one's gonna be short because I gotta get to class soon. The main idea? I might make an appearance in Conweezy this weekend. Don't get mad because I haven't planned it out. It's a spur of the moment deal. If I get to come, I'll show up on SaturDAY, hang out Saturday night, and have to leave on Sunday. If anyone wants to come into town to hang out, here's your notice. :)



PS: If T.I. wasn't so skinny, he might be able to replace Mos Def. (Melissa, you know what I'm getting at)

Mother Nature is PMS-ing

What is the world coming to? I mean...really. It is July 12th, and the forecast calls for scattered thunderstorms. If I see another drop of rain hit the ground, I'm officially declaring war on Mother Nature. I don't exactly know how to defeat her yet, but I'll figure something out. I just hate that I can't have any fun outside because this summer, Mother Nature decided to get pissed off.

In other news, I realized that I haven't update my blog with the most influential news in my life recently. My only mode of transportation, my sweet, sweet bicycle, was savagely stolen last week. Yeah. Taken right off of my doorstep just in time for my summer classes to begin. I've filed a report with a disinterested police officer, printed up flyers, contacted pawn shops, and spread the word to everyone around town. After a week, no luck in locating it. God help whoever took it if I see them riding around town, because I promise to spear them off of it and beat them within an inch of their life. The most frustrating thing is that it was specially ordered to fit a man of my stature. ie: it's too big for any normal-sized person to ride, soooooooo what the f*ck is someone going to do with it (other than sell it). Ugh, I'm getting riled up just talking about it. It's time for Daddy to get out some frustration. I might jog home...since I can't ride my bike.

Get your diapers on....

...'cause you just might shit yourself. Daddy's here, and he will be for a while. Summer II classes started this morning at the crack of 7:30. Yippee. My first class seems like it's gonna suck a bit, but there's only 4 of us in there. That simple fact is gonna make it bearable. My second class is gonna require less studying than a drug test...seriously.

The only reason that you faithful readers, or disappointed readers as it seems recently, should give a care (does anyone still use that phrase?) is because since I have to be on campus everyday for class, that means that this horrible excuse for a blog will be updated almost daily. That means no more ill-tempered comments on outdated posts, no more *yawns* from HoHo, and probably most importantly, an imminent formation of a (dare I say?) Megan Haney blog.

What's new with me? Hmmmm....I'm pissed that I still weigh more than I'd like. It's not so much the weight that perturbs me as much as what I look like sans shirt. It's pretty gross. Sure, I haven't been working out as much as I should. Sure, I've indulged in a cold beverage (read: Beer) every once in a while, but I'm getting tired of it. TechFit is gonna get a big dose of Big Mike over the course of the next month.

Back from the Spa

I'm back from a weekend with the parents (is that a growing trend nowadays?). The mother was continually on my ass about a visit, so that's how I knew it was time. I'd like to say that nothing has changed, but I'd be a bold faced liar. Actually, I don't think anything is the same. Anyhooch. Same ole visit: Mom wants me to eat my weight in fatty, fried foods. Dad needs help with something heavy. Little brother's a brat. Big sister is in the midst of a argument with the folks. Maybe some things ARE the same.

As far as exciting things, that's about all I've got, folks. I've got one more week of working everyday before I go back to class everyday. Hopefully with classes, I'll be able to be a little more active and drop a few lb's. Maybe even get outside and get some sun on my buns.

For real though, when am I gonna come to Conway and kick it again? When am I going to make my debut at The Saucer? When is it going to stop being cloudy and start being Summer for god's sake? All questions that need to be answered soon. For now, Daddy's hungry and needs to put something in his belly. Toodles.