It's a sad day in Russellville, Arkansas today. A pet has passed away. Ling, a cute, little, black and yellow duck, died yesterday evening due to her "father" being an irresponsible parent and horrible owner. Ok, so JJ bought two ducks for Alexis as a late birthday present at the beginning of August. Since her surgery, I had been taking care of them. She asked JJ to look after them for two, count'em TWO, nights so's that we get a bit of a break. Ling dies on the first night. I go over to JJ's house at 8 a.m. to get the other one, Gizmo. Frustrating.
On a brighter note, a friend of mine made what could be the funniest comment in the history of human events last night. We were discussing the phenomenon of perfectly sane, attractive, white girls getting wooed and used by football players. Editor's Note: Given that I am a former footballer, I am fully aware that not all football players are assholes and that this is a somewhat unfair stereotype. Alexis was telling us about a few of her freshman teammates that have fallen in with the aforementioned jerks. My buddy Steven then dropped a line that I will forever be jealous about. "Girls should just stay away from football players. They're practically trained killers." I understand that you probably just chuckled a bit. If you would have been there and heard the PERFECT inflection and tone in his delivery, you'd be searching for a new pair of pants because you would have laughed until you peed.
On a brighter note, a friend of mine made what could be the funniest comment in the history of human events last night. We were discussing the phenomenon of perfectly sane, attractive, white girls getting wooed and used by football players. Editor's Note: Given that I am a former footballer, I am fully aware that not all football players are assholes and that this is a somewhat unfair stereotype. Alexis was telling us about a few of her freshman teammates that have fallen in with the aforementioned jerks. My buddy Steven then dropped a line that I will forever be jealous about. "Girls should just stay away from football players. They're practically trained killers." I understand that you probably just chuckled a bit. If you would have been there and heard the PERFECT inflection and tone in his delivery, you'd be searching for a new pair of pants because you would have laughed until you peed.
3 comments:
everything makes me pee.
p.s.-rest in peace ling quacker.
sorry bout the duck. boys are kind of dumb in general, yeah? this is not being bitter; this is me being factual.
Post a Comment